My Table-For-One Life
Eating Alone in a Lonely World
Special announcement:
At 11am PST, this Thursday, March 12th, I will be hosting a live Q and A for all paid subscribers. Please reply to this email if you have a question you would like answered!
(That’s in two days!) It will be 45 minutes long and should be recorded in case you miss it.
Note: Please pray for the families and children torn apart from militarized immigration operations in the USA as well as wars around the world, especially Iran and Gaza, Ukraine and Sudan. Go to Amnesty International or International Rescue Committee to see how you can help.
By the way, speaking of refugees, my team and I at Inner Excellence are visualizing and praying about a location for an Inner Excellence headquarters in the states. See the PS for more info.
Most of my meals I eat by myself.
As a performance coach and retreat leader I travel a lot. When I get to a new city one of the first things I do is stock the fridge in my hotel room. I’m a pretty heavy drinker, so I need to find a place to buy the drinks (and a lot of shots). Perhaps it’s a bit sad but I do most of the shots by myself. 😳
Some of you who’ve followed Inner Excellence for a while (or who’ve read the first version of The Best Possible Life) may know Principle #3 of Inner Excellence:
I lack nothing. I expect nothing.
It’s a powerful mantra and belief. It’s one I need to remind myself regularly. Especially when I don’t get what I want or the dreaded unexpected/unwanted circumstances that come on a random Tuesday.
You know, the times when you have plans and expectations and then suddenly you get cancer or something. Not my favorite. The thing is, many situations that I’ve greatly disliked in my life, like getting cancer, have been the best thing for me. Thus, I don’t need better situations per se, I need to learn how to handle them better.
So, when I travel in America, I try to find the nearest Whole Foods so I can buy my (ginger) shots and OLIPOP drinks to fill my fridge (yes, I’m a heavy drinker!). While I’m there I usually grab a meal at the hot bar/salad bar. But…. sometimes there’s no Whole Foods, and thus I may not get what I want (a tasty, healthy meal at the hot bar with my fizzy prebiotic soda).
I also look for the nearest Barnes and Noble cafe (to write and work) and hopefully a gym with a sauna and cold plunge, so I’m not writing short, choppy sentences when long, lovely ones would be so much better and more convincing (or at least engaging).
But what do I do when I don’t get these things? When I’m disappointed, frustrated, or have any feeling I don’t want?
Ok let’s get back to traveling alone, and more precisely, eating alone. Of course I would love to eat with you, my good friend, but you’re often busy with your own life. So alone it usually is.
I think the better question, however, than what it’s like to eat alone, is what should I do to deal with the feelings of eating alone. This is, after all, the real issue. The problem is not the wayward golf shot, the rejection letter, or the bad grade or review. The problem is the feelings you get from it—or perhaps more accurately—how you feel about the feelings you get when these things happen, and what you do with those feelings.
We all get nervous and afraid, but are you afraid to be afraid? Or are you ok with being very uncomfortable? This is one of the most important things you will need to learn if you want to live an extraordinary life (or just a really good one): how to get comfortable when you’re really not.
In other words, can you be ok with feeling really nervous? Are you willing to have that feeling that you dread? Are you ok with feelings of fear or loneliness or self-consciousness? Because if you are, then you’ve got options. The solution is not to avoid uncomfortable feelings, because then you’d never grow. The solution is to seek out uncomfortable feelings and embrace them, so you can get comfortable being uncomfortable.
The most important thing about you is your heart, and the most important thing about your heart is the energy that flows from it. Your overall state/energy is crucial—it greatly impacts all three pillars of Inner Excellence: your beliefs, your freedom, and your focus. The problem (unemployment, injury, setback) is not the problem, the problem is the state you enter when you judge it (the energy you create when you think negative about it).
Let me know how it’s going for you!
Hope to see you Thursday!
Love Jim
PS
Have you pre-ordered your copy of BPL yet? I’m confident it will dramatically impact your life and help you learn how to deal with unwanted feelings.
Pre-order your copy of The Best Possible Life here… ❤️
BTW…
Eating alone is exciting when you’re present to all possibilities; it’s when I’ve gotten caught up in circumstances that sometimes I need a hug! :) For the most part it’s exciting because I feel God with me.
The Inner Excellence Retreat Center - USA
We’re dreaming of a location in the Southern United States, possibly Texas or Florida. We’re not set on which state, so if you have a suggestion, let us know! Here’s the ideal: 10-20 acres or more, within 45 minutes of a major city, in a wooded area.
organic gardens
horses and dogs
tennis, basketball and indoor pickleball
pool and lots of sun
Inner Excellence Academy
Perhaps somewhere from Dallas to Austin or wherever there’s lots of sun and beauty where God wants us! The main goal would be to provide a place to learn and grow and serve those most in need.
The Inner Excellence YWAM Retreat is sold out! ❤️
This next Inner Excellence/YWAM Homes of Hope retreat is April 9-13 in Ensenada, Mexico. Check out the Inner Excellence Freedom Project website for more information.
Substack paid subscriptions are open!
My team is still dreaming of how to make the most impact for all of you that want more Inner Excellence. It’s $7/month (USD) or $75/year. There’s regular Q and A (like the one in two days!) where I answer your questions and share some of the routines of thought and action that I do.
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